HAPPY FEBRUARY! Last month Brandon and I chose “Cherish” as our word of the year for 2018 and to help me stick with it I’ve decided to write up a check-in at the beginning of each month to share how we’re living our word. I’m hoping it helps us stay focused on it and that it leads to personal growth for both of us as the year ticks by. We have a lot of goals for 2018 and it all starts with stopping to take the time to appreciate where we are in life and being content with our day-to-day. We’ve moved so much over the last few years and been through so many big changes that we feel like we need time to cherish where we are and what we have.
January was kind of a nutty month for us. We had a trip to Pittsburgh planned but it fell through due to a winter storm. We’re planning to reschedule soon and I’m excited to share that trip with you when it eventually happens. We had a family member have a major surgery and Brandon came down sick with bronchitis (originally there were fears of pneumonia or heart problems). If there was anything to “Cherish” in January it was certainly family. That may seem like a cop-out considering the holidays just wrapped up and here I am talking about learning to cherish family but January was a big month for it considering if health issues had gone awry we could have lost two very important people.
Since our second miscarriage in 2016, I find myself frequently falling into depression. I get so lost in this dark cloud from focusing too much on what we don’t have in our lives and I often don’t spend enough time being grateful for what we do have. I’ll catch myself thinking about how the first child we lost would be in Kindergarten this year or wondering what our lives would be like if both of my pregnancies had made it full-term. Then, I’ll break down crying, grieving for the life we could have had if only those precious babies had been born. I understand needing to give myself time and space to grieve when I need to but I also know that I can’t give in to the hurt every time it crops up. I need to also be grateful for the beautiful blessings I do have and the steadfast love and support my husband offers to me.
I’m trying to do more to trust in God and His timing when it comes to children and instead, teach myself to focus on cherishing my family as it is today. I have two parent’s that live close by which is more than a lot of people can say. Even though I don’t talk with my siblings as much as we should I know I’m lucky to have them in my life. I have a husband that adores me, sweet puppies that always want to cuddle, close friends that are very supportive, and an entire blogging community of people that are constantly lifting me up.
I don’t have children and there’s a good chance I never will but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot of people in my life to love me and who deserve to be loved in return.
So, regardless of what happens (or doesn’t happen) this year with babies, I’m determined to concentrate on cherishing the family, friends, and online friends that I do have in my life. My heart isn’t empty and neither are my arms if my puppies have anything to say about it. My family is important to me and they deserve the best of myself that I can offer although they haven’t been getting that lately. I’m lucky in so many ways and January was a big month for reminding me of it.
I hope January was good to all of you and I am excited to see what February has in store for all of us! XOXO