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5 Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage

My husband, Brandon, and I have our fair share of bad habits. It drives me insane that he won’t make the bed and leaves the bathroom sink wet. It annoys him that I tend to oversleep and don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper. Are our habits frustrating? Yes. Are they divorce-worthy? No. I would never divorce my husband because he doesn’t make the bed and I sure hope he wouldn’t divorce me because I sleep in on the weekends. Those just aren’t habits that are capable of killing a marriage (right?? I mean, no one divorces over not putting clothes in the hamper, do they?) and they are habits that we were both well aware of before we ever got married. 

While I doubt that those habits could destroy a marriage there are five habits that could and I’m sharing them with you today.

Put your marriage first and prioritize your husband or wife by taking care to avoid these bad habits that could ruin your marriage. If you don't take care, these 5 bad habits could ruin your marriage. Avoiding these bad habits won't make your marriage divorce-proof but it certainly helps. #marriage

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Put your marriage first and prioritize your husband or wife by taking care to avoid these bad habits that could ruin your marriage. If you don't take care, these 5 bad habits could ruin your marriage. Avoiding these bad habits won't make your marriage divorce-proof but it certainly helps.

Putting Someone Else First

Who is #1 in your life? If you answered anything other than your spouse then you’re not putting your marriage first. It’s ok to be close to your parents, your siblings and your friends but you made a commitment to your spouse and you have an obligation to make them a priority. Don’t allow your parents to speak poorly about your spouse. Don’t side with your parents or siblings in a disagreement with your spouse. Don’t spend all of your free time with your friends. It’s important to set boundaries and focus on your marriage.

Avoiding Sex

If you’ve ever read the 5 Love Languages then you’ll probably remember that touch is one of those languages. Touch is one of the primary ways that we express love to one another and sex is the most intimate way to show love. There are a lot of research studies out there that have shown that physical connection, orgasm and cuddling lead to increased emotional joy, lower levels of stress and anxiety as well as physical benefits like lower blood pressure. When you start avoiding sex with your spouse you stop speaking one of the languages of love and start to create questions such as, “Is he/she not attracted to me anymore?” and “Is he/she sleeping with someone else?” which breeds resentment and anger.

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Keeping Secrets / Hiding Purchases

You and your spouse should have common goals and dreams. Often these goals and dreams have a big financial commitment; I’m talking about things like paying off debt, building up savings, buying a home, etc. Don’t keep financial secrets from your spouse. Don’t make new purchases and then hide them or sneak them into the house when the other isn’t home. If you spent $150 on a new in-season handbag confess it. If you need a new pair of black boots or if you want a new electronic gadget talk about it, come to a common agreement, and share.

Put your marriage first and prioritize your husband or wife by taking care to avoid these bad habits that could ruin your marriage. If you don't take care, these 5 bad habits could ruin your marriage. Avoiding these bad habits won't make your marriage divorce-proof but it certainly helps. #marriage #divorce #marriageadvice Via Honey and Pine

Addiction

An addiction can kill a marriage fast because it places something else above your marriage. The object of your addiction becomes more important that your spouse, than your family and your relationship. It’s important to note that addiction doesn’t necessarily mean alcohol or drugs; you can have an addiction to video games, the internet, social media, shopping, gambling, etc. If you’re going to have an addiction it should be to your spouse, not to something that is taking time away from your spouse.

Making Your Spouse the Enemy

We all have those bad days when the car broke down, you had a flat tire, you were yelled at by your boss, the kids got in trouble, etc but that is no excuse for taking out your frustration and anger by picking apart your spouse. Don’t pick a fight. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Don’t make your spouse the enemy. Be communicative and share that you’ve had a bad day. Explain what has happened to upset you. Allow your spouse to be a source of comfort.

If you’re interested in building healthy habits to keep your marriage strong, I highly recommend looking into The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Marriage. My husband and I absolutely loved this series and it offers great insight into building a marriage that lasts.

Any other bad habits you can think of that could lead to the destruction of your marriage? Tweet me @ashleyfromhp and don’t forget to pin this to your marriage board!

Comments

    • Thank you Justine! I know I’m guilty of a few and I try to be really aware of my behaviors…especially the one about addiction. As a fellow blogger I’m sure you can understand how the web and social media (and bloglovin’!) can be addicting.

    • Hi Becca! I included that because I used to be crazy addicted to video games. I would play for 6, 8, 10 or 18 hours straight sometimes and not even realize it. I would forget to eat sometimes. I don’t know how disastrous it is for all relationships but I know it took a toll on mine…not that that particular relationship was all that great anyway.

    • Hi Isabella! I’m so glad you liked the article. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve gone through any of the issues with your boyfriend; I hope that you two are able to work everything out! XOXO

  1. love this post. we avoid all of these habits in our marriage and make a point not to do them at all because we have seen how harmful they can be

  2. Lack of communication and the man never asking what the woman would like to do or occasionally doing something she does like to do. Don’t make it where the only time you go out is when you (the man) is in the mood!… Stay away from clubs and bars unless you are together. Having a boys or girls night out in such places jus leads to harmful talk and rumors. Most of all, NEVER EVER compare your woman to an ex or bring up an “ex” in any way or compare your woman to any other woman even if it is a casual comment like “she sure is pretty”.. It makes your woman feel like she is not pretty enough for you for you to be looking! And why would you want to bring up your “ex” unless you still have feelings for her? There is nothing worse than being compared to another woman and the way she kisses or the talents she has, etc. If you love the woman you are with, DON”T DO IT!!! Your woman will feel lik eher heart is ripped out and then all sorts of doubt will start to run through her mind and she’ll wonder if you are sick of her is why you are looking. Don’t ever go talk to another woman about private matters. Always go to your spouse and discuss them. How else can you work things out if the other doesn’t know? Plus, it makes other woman feel you are available if you start putting your wife down!.. If your woman ever asks if you really love her, don’t say, “Gosh! Here we go again!” Tell her you love her with all your heart and hug her tight to make her feel secure. Walking away is a sure sign you don’t love her eoought o tell her or work things out.

  3. What happens when you do everything you possibly can, but your relationship still falls apart? My fiance recently kicked me out and blamed me for everything that went wrong in our relationship even though he was the one being physically violent. I tried to save our relationship but no matter what I did, it disintegrated.

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